So.

So I always thought that I needed to watch YouTubers, read blogs, look at pictures, etc. to figure out what to do, say, wear, listen to, etc. I needed guidelines, just a helpful way to stay organized and know how to do life. But now, I see that I've got to do what I want in my own way. I don't need to be like everyone else and actually, that's one of my biggest fears: being like everyone else; un-individual. But, subconsciously, I was trying to be like everyone else. The way they posted things to blogs or YouTube or Tumblr, that was what I wanted. I wanted to fit in to be successful, it's just that, one thing I didn't notice was how these people are successful because they're original and are great at what they do. Jesus, I wish I knew what to do. The only thing I seem to be OK at is telling empty space what I'm feeling (I say empty space because I seriously doubt anyone is reading this) I really want to find what I'm good writing about. Life would be easier. Most people want things to be either simple or complicated but is it weird that I don't give a rat's ass? I don't particularly care if life is simple or complicated, I kind of just want to do it, happily, with a purpose. Like in the movie/book Hugo, he (Hugo) wants a purpose because the whole world is a machine and everyone's a part that contributes and has a point, but he can't find his point. Or something like that. But that's me. Everyone else has something but what do I have? I mean, I like to write and I think I'm pretty good at it but I don't have a writing purpose. I'm making no sense and probably annoying the crap out of whoever is reading this. I apologize. I don't really know why I put my personal thoughts on the internet. Does anyone really care? I wouldn't. Anyway, thanks for reading if you did. Damn I have to stop feeling sorry for myself.

Love,
   Me