I've been feeling really down about myself lately. I finally go around to editing one of my videos and basically the whole time I was just thinking, "why am I so annoying?"No fun. I have also been pretty down about my looks. All my friends despise when I rag on myself and I can totally understand why. It just all builds up, though. Since I haven't been doing it. I also seriously hate my brain. It was okay for a while. I had stopped worrying so much and I stopped feeling guilty about every little thing I did. But now I have to deal with low self esteem and talking to people. God, I am so shy. I can't even handle how shy I am. Even with people I trust more than anything, and with people I've known for forever I just can't speak. I have things to say most of the time, but my stupid brain won't let me get it out of my mouth. I get scared and I psych myself out. One last thing that bothers me about myself, my fucking facial expressions. I never look happy, even when I am! I either look like I'm super pissed/ annoyed/ sarcastic or no expression at all. I hate it. People think I'm giving them attitude when I'm not, I seem unapproachable, I seem mean. The truth is, I just want someone to come up and talk to me. I'd respond. I'd smile. I'd happily engage in conversation. The thing is, I can't make the first move because I'm too scared and nobody wants to talk to me because I look mean and like I want nothing to do with anybody. I don't know what to do. This is gonna be hard.
Love,
Me
P.S. If you, for whatever reason, want to comment on any post, please do. I'm open to hear anything you have to say :)
You have to change your thoughts in order to change your feelings. If you believed that you really had something to say and what you had to say was worth saying, it would be easier. You have nothing to feel bad about. Even a stranger commented on how gorgeous you are today. So accept it already.
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